If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
