What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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