chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
