theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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