Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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