I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
