he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
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Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
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I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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