Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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