She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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