I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize