Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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