ugly people sure do ruin things
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
