Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
