I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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