so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
