Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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