UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
