Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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