I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
dude. I can hear the air.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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