porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
