did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He passed out mid-signature
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
