Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
