Having a random hookup so left but love u
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
