period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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