I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
birth control should be required to get into college
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
