Screwed.edu
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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