They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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