my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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