I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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