And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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