I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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