I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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