I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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