it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
