Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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