This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
