Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
did i walk over a car last night?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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