Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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