Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
