is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
