my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
