Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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