Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
