I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
