Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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