All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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