Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
