make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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