I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i now understand why vodka
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
