Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
