Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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