I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
