So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
