just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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