were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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