sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
