The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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