it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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