margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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