lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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