i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
