watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
