i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
