I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
