Nicole vs. Life
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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