Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
