I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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