I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
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1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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